Its raining crap

A year since last

2009-11-26T21:50:00.002+04:00

A year has passed since we started questioning faith; pointed fingers at others while burning our hands in candle light vigils. For sensationalists that marks another day among the many other martyr days they celebrate. This one is the most recent…and definitely not the last. Wonder how many got amused at their emotional outpour one year back and the complete lack of worthlessness a year later. I wonder how many swore at ‘them’ with the support of the stranger standing alongside. One year later I’m not sure they recognize each other. We blamed everyone, our neighbors across the border and our people inside, the state that governs and the media that reports-everyone. We left ourselves out of the equation.

The collective outrage fuelled by the over emotive residents of a city is slowly burning out to a selfish reality- a fear of surrendering hope.

Amidst crass commercialization, a recession hit, inflation prone, powerless, weather beaten, misgoverned, corrupt, maoist infected, terrorist struck, vulnerable democracy moves ahead stepping past yet another memory.

Yet another one on the monsoon

2009-07-08T17:48:00.007+04:00

Year after year it seems like there is a meteorological reality-show to see how wrong they can get with their predictions on the advent of the monsoon. Infact, psepologists (esp the kind that appears on news channels), astrologers and and our meteorology dept should send

atleast one team (I am sure they will have many) to the now drab ‘Great Indian laughter challenge’. I remember reading reports that it was going to be an early monsoon. And the real story started only a week after even the usual dates.

And when it indeed starts raining, their expectations of 'heavy showers for the next 24 hours' almost repeats everytime it rains. And as if the rain can sense this building expectation it decides not to rain for 4 days consecutively. And when you almost start forgetting your umbrella, there it comes!

Like every other season in India, people tend to greet the monsoon and hate them as well. And usually it is an exercise in unison. They greet it when it appears and starts hating it when a few days later it affects their regular office commute. For a few, like school-schildren, the glee re-appears every time a holiday is declared.

Despite all this, the initial days of the monsoon is a great treat to watch…people looking up into the sky with a subdued sense of glee, some- hiding the glee behind their umbrellas, some offering ‘lifts’, people running with their shoulders hunched in brisk steps from one canopy to the other-covering them with whatever they have in their right hand (or the hand itself) which covers exactly 1/3^rd of the

forehead. And there are the people with ‘I can wait, but pity you’ smirk on their faces jostling for space in the steps of the footpath…or leading to a store that suddenly sees a spurt in visitors. I can imagine the shopkeeper’s exasperated silhouette against the famed Gandhiji’s quote saying "a customer is the most important visitor on our premises"

During my schooldays in Kerala (Loyola School, Thiruvanthapuram), the rains were expected on the day the school re-opens after the summer vacation … on June 1^st or 2-3 days before/after. It was almost like a natural law. After the tech renaissance of the past decade, the meteorologists started getting over zealous…and started predicting cloud movements. It was almost like the doctor talking about bowel movement when the patient was complaining of constipation.

Back to school days (was never good and old), it was almost a test of optimism to walk out in your new shoes, bag, uniform and other paraphernalia when the rains were almost about to burst out…the only saviour being the new umbrella/rain coat. The most dismaying part was the new shoes. If they could, they could fold up together while you walked out and made a fervent appeal not to take them out in the rains. Poor sole! And the un-heard appeal was thrown along with the shoes into the rain drenched football ground. What fun. The walk back home all cold and huddled under the umbrella straight into the bath without my aaya seeing me was one great adventure that Enid Blyton would have started a series on.

Inside the Loyola School bus, the cold look that your 'window-seated' seniors gave you, every-time you lifted the the window-shutters to see whether your bus-stop has arrived, worked as the only teaser. And the pride with which the driver looked at us, partly adjusting his perch on the seat when a poor soul on the road jumped aside and shielded himself with his umbrella from a puddle when the bus sped past him. It should be another great catch 22 - the dilemma to shield oneself from the rain or the splash from the puddle.

Rains again became an implicitly awaited event while in college-the hot & humid summers never let the brightly coloured jackets (never helped to keep one dry) out of the home. It was even spectacular when the bike made its entry. There was an unseen emergency to reach home (or wherever) when it started drizzling. You could never reach anywhere and in the end just formed an excuse for a hot chai, gossip and a smoke. And every time my bike started, it almost became a good omen to hear my dad or mom shout out to be back before it rains. Due to lack of exposure on any of the other four seasons, the fondness for the rains just grew over the years.

Apart from nostalgia, there is something inherently mystical about the rains. Despite the eager prayers for a good monsoon, there is always the catastrophic tales of lives lost due to mud avalanches, sea erosion, floods, cyclones et al. In Mumbai and elsewhere roads giving way to trenches have become a specialized media subject. Every year we only re-question our sensibilities by questioning the civic administration. Every monsoon almost erases our current frustrations and presents us with new ones. That includes candle lit vigils on terrorist attacks or our exasperations with the administration.

Since the time the rain clouds started gathering in the horizon, the rains were always revered for its power to give birth. But there always seems to be an air of uncertainty… almost unstated preparedness for something unfortunate. And when that happens, every monsoon seems like a season only for memories. The dilemma then is to whether let the old memories get washed away by the rains and make way for new ones or to hold on to the old ones and ignore the present.

Vote for What?

2009-04-24T17:45:00.010+04:00

What is so great about South Africa, that makes it in-vulnerable to an election?

Or what is so bad in India that makes it vulnerable to IPL?

South Africa had their general elections on 22^nd April. The day when Deccan Chargers won their 2^nd match thanks to Adam Gilchrist & Rohit Sharma’s exploits. (Click for match info)

While elections - and the fear of a security lapse were the main concerns to shift the IPL to SA, how come it could be managed so well in SA.

This debate would have already suffered the fate of a once fearsome cobra ending up as a soup in a street side ‘thela’ in Cape Town; but guess the after-taste is keeping the cobra from a peaceful digestion.

Agreed that the magnitude of elections, the size of the electorate, the cultural diversity, civic apathy etc are insurmountable walls of difference between the two countries. Just statistic is enough to kill the debate on similarity of the two nations - India is twenty times larger (over 1 billion people) than South Africa (45 million people). South Africa is the 25th-largest country in the world. India is 7^th largest. South Africa is ranked 25th in the world in terms of GDP (PPP) as of 2007. And India is ranked world’s twelfth.

But despite the differences, the sheer range of geo-political as well as socio-economic issues that the ‘aam aadmi” grapples with are similar. South Africa has one of the highest rates of income inequality in the world. South Africa has eleven official languages and multiple ethnic cultures. According to a survey for the period 1998–2000 compiled by the United Nations, South Africa was ranked second for murder and first for assaults and rapes per capita (India is fast catching up though). Total crime per capita is 10th out of the 60 countries in the data set. South Africa has the world's largest HIV/AIDS population, 5.3 million or 11% of all South Africans, according to official figures. It has the world's ninth highest murder rate. On its borders it has Zimbabwe, whose implosion it has undertaken to help reverse, not least because that collapse has added an estimated 500,000 refugees to South Africa's already stressed social system. And in the 15 years since the formal end of apartheid, social inequality and the number of South Africans living in poverty have actually grown.

Corrupt, illiterate and criminal are just some of the qualities that are synonymous with the Indian politician. But look at who SA got as their president hopeful (and incumbent)- Jacob Zuma has six wives. His financial adviser was jailed for bribing him, he likes to sing, he grew up herding goats and completed just three years at school, but rose to prominence as an ANC guerrilla and intelligence chief, serving 10 years in prison with Nelson Mandela. (There might be good side of him. But that’s not interesting. ;-). Despite the gravity of the AIDS problem in SA, Zuma himself has notoriously, displayed even greater ignorance on AIDS, claiming in court that after having sex with a woman who knew to be HIV-positive, he protected himself by having a shower.

For a country who could stage the IPL in 4 weeks (29 days to be exact) and an election to tot, they are also hosting the British and Irish Lions rugby team, and later this year cricket's Champions Trophy, another refugee from the perceived dangers of the subcontinent. Next year, it will be football's World Cup.

Cultural biases notwithstanding, there are differences that are glaring enough for a statistician who is looking for logical and functional base to dismiss the ‘similarity’ theory. But between a nation who just entered the 15^th year of (full) democracy and a nation who celebrated its golden jubilee 2 years back, these statistics are enough to de-motivate one’s faith in the world’s largest democracy – and our capability in doing what we think is possible. Despite the “vote” campaigns that ricochet on the idiot box and the toast of this year’s social campaigns, voter turnout in the first phase of the 2009 Indian elections was still dismal. While in South Africa, the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) has put the final voter turn out at 77.3 percent, one the highest voter turn-out in the world.

To look back at a statement from our hounourable Union Home Minister, Mr P. Chidambaram. “It will be difficult to provide para-military forces for 40 matches and elections too,” he said “I don’t want the forces to be stretched.” And juxtapose this one last statistic - India has the 3^rd largest armed forces in the world. South Africa figures 63^rd. (check here).

For me, the issue is larger than staging the IPL.

Since the first Pak incursion in October, 1947, internal security has not moved beyond the jingoistic rhetoric based on most recent setback. IPL has been moved out of India, the India-Australia Davis cup is the next in line. And as time passes by us, I would imagine that the minimum deterrence required for a nation to stand up to internal or external threats seems to be only waning. And we just seem to trudge along with our collective conscience of an impotent nation.

I have only become more cynical about the political will of the nation that first had its general elections in 1951. Election manifestos and poll agendas are only added on to the initial “roti, kapda, makkaan’ campaigns… literacy, primary health care, potable water, electricity, roads, female infanticide… the list only seems to be growing, No goals ever seem to be achieved…poll planks notwithstanding, even the planning commission’s 5 year plan seems like an ‘to-be-continued’ Government omnibus.

The thought refuses to leave me every time I watch an IPL match - in a multi party see saw in India, hope for a political will seems misplaced. (incidentally ANC the majority party in SA had a 66% share of the parliament).

But then it is also not about absolute majority. Read a quote of ANC spokeswoman Jessie Duarte, She said "You don't need two-thirds to govern a country. You need political will to do so."

With the curtains slowly descending on the campaigning for the general elections 2009, that doubt only seems to grow…why should I keep flushing down my vote?

The reluctant blogger. The genesis.

2009-04-15T14:28:00.006+04:00

There’s no originality in the title. I agree.

As words form sentences hereafter, it becomes more hazy as why am I doing this than doing anything else.

In the course I am also presenting my set of reasons to find a place in virtuality.

The sense of “am I doing something great?” has always crossed my mind. Bereft of any pursuable vocations and most of the time in a crude primordial seizure of multi-tasking, (“One thing at a time” is a non-existent figment of an anonymous writer’s fable) the vocation of publishing a commentary never was a serious thought. Recording my personal memoirs or “Diary writing” was a risky proposition… I was too scared of being honest…and was extremely prone to violent shivers and trembles as I visualized my closest friends guffawing over my flights of fantasy.

I could not surmount the barrier of self-publishing. My fantasy was still about giving sound bytes to earnest journalists who surround me while they jostle and heckle each other to capture the words as they leave my mouth and evaporate. (in slow motion)

In the midst of the fantasy and in between certain heightened fiction reading interludes, there was a sense that I could make up for my lack of attentiveness by writing something odd. It never really took flight as a pursuable vocation till I chanced upon the reality that what happens around us is often not dictated by how we really want them to be. Being fed and clothed in the farcical communist idealism of Kerala politics, the sense of cynicism can be forgiven, I presume. Through course-corrections and adjustments in our expectations, we just trudge along, some to look back and some, never. It made eminent sense to record these.

And what you feel about something can change with time. And when you trace your initial thoughts on some issue, you suddenly become startled at how even your personal opinions change and evolve over time. There were also times when you have a point of view that escapes the opportunity of the ‘right time’. Logging those thoughts in atleast abates the sense of intellectual nausea. (wanted to call it ‘crapnausea’). The obvious downside being the time when I revisit them and feel embarrassed at my intellectual crassness.

Self publishing was also about soliciting acknowledgements. Narcissism is probably an extreme word for this- but there are scientific studies that highlight tendencies in facebook profiles. (Study: Facebook profiles can be used to detect narcissism). I do not know of a single word that would communicate a heightened need for an psuedo- intellect- alter- ego combined with some self indulgent cynicism - the real motivation behind my virtual existence.

My primary interaction with web-logs had happened much earlier - through an article in a general interest magazine on blogging and I distinctly remember Ajit Balakrishnan of rediff.com, extrapolating his reasons to get his views heard. Later on many CEO’s and opinion leaders had jumped into the bandwagon. Blogs even started opinionating my most enjoyable past time of reading current affairs publications. And then I discovered Orkut. Later with web 2.0, the possibilities of having a virtual identity –an alter ego became very strong and (now as I look back) is probably the greatest force multiplier in breaking the apathy towards blogging.

Thereafter, during certain dried up patches at the workplace helped by a lot of “personal internet time”, the seeds of “It's raining crap” was sown. The reasons for the nomenclature is best explained in the blog header.

2 years and 18 posts. The greatest dilemma is figuring out ways to keep it going. Especially now that I have exhausted one more. And that too, after almost a year.

HIStory

2008-05-06T15:33:00.002+04:00

Saw “Samsara”, a movie that happened just by chance. (The Wikipedia defines Samsara or saṃsāra as the cycle of reincarnation or rebirth in Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism and other related religions.).

The director Pan Nalin,’s biography itself was quite interesting. And in the movie, all vital aspects of movie-making present a completely absorbing movie experience. The premise is not out of the world, but realistic. The cinematography is stunning, convincing performances by the lead actors, backed by an unusual story line.

But what made me come back to blogging after a hiatus is the message I imbibed from this movie…through an unexpected monologue by the female lead. She talks about the plight of women in history and how the deeds of males are usually eulogized and respected…taking specific mention of Budhha and his wife Yashodha. (many people might recollect only as an afterthought that he was married and sired a son before leaving on his path of enlightenment)

Women in history are almost like ‘extras’ in Bollywood flicks…like also rans. While there ARE few mentions of women heroes, their overall weightage in history is pretty abysmal. While individually each women has done much, we tend to take them as granted…motherhood being the most obvious one.

Male chauvinism is as much anthropological as it is historical. While we probably have moved a lot ahead in terms of empowering women, it occurs to me as a complete reversal in evolution. It might take years to come before we give women their due. And then history classes will be a lot different and people might even think of calling it HERstory.

modeRATION

2008-05-06T11:13:00.002+04:00

What? Food rationing in the US???

Australia, UK follow suit…?

When I read ‘Malthus’ in my economic textbooks, never thought theory would be put to practice so soon.

Never imagined that I would witness a situation as precarious as food rationing in US, Australia or the UK. The debate still continues whether prosperity in the developing world or the mad craze to convert food to fuel is the reason behind the current food shortage.

I don’t want to extrapolate on this bit. Thought I’d express my “shock and disbelief”. (Why waste a chance?).

But what does a consumer like me do? Read news articles and extrapolate views on how inflation is screwing up my already inflated monthly expenses…?

Culturally with half of the population that fasts atleast one month if not more, due to various religious beliefs and another half which starves, I am not sure whether it is our food consumption patterns that are to blame for this situation.

But I do remember almost all the beliefs and philosophical teachings that shun greed and advice moderation.

Why can’t we give it a try…25% reduction in our consumption patterns…? This is not based on any theory…but that is approximately the average increase in prices of essential commodities…

Re-looked

2008-02-04T17:24:00.000+04:00

For some reason, I have always been a supporter of people who downplay their attractiveness, who despite their good looks are modest about it.

It could stem out of an insecurity of not figuring in the top 100 of the ‘People’ magazine or it could be my angst against vanity. So much that I have been a great advocate of using un-model like faces in advertisements and films.

But on careful introspection I have realized that mankind is almost maniacal in its desire to change everything around them into attractive elements. While almost all design improvements are about making functional products, there is a huge stress on it being aesthetic as well. That is about product designs. But the industry who has gained most from this predilection for looking good are the liquids, potions, lotions, soaps, gels, scrubs, masks and what not that adorn your wardrobe. Not to mention the clothing and fashion industry…and many more such ancillary industries who work towards ‘appreciating’ the beautiful you.

Despite all these happening around us, somehow there’s also a desire to be hideous about the whole dressing up occasion. At least in a man’s world. People take pot shots when they see someone take that glance at the office glass door or at the parking lot to take stock of one’s appearance.

It is also strange to see people grimace when they are supposed to answer an innocent query about their appearance…there are humour anthologies written on the husband’s predicament when faced with such a situation. How many ever give an honest opinion when someone asks this question? Atleast I don’t…just so that I would like to give them that benefit of feeling good about their looks.

And there are also ways how people circumvent the problem of calling a spade a spade. Ever heard people say, “he may not have the ‘typical’ good looks, but he has a good personality”. Someone else has a healthy look (especially curvaceous women blinking on the edge of obesity), some even saying that “he/she is photogenic…” to cover up for the fact that he/she otherwise doesn’t measure up in the looks department.

Just look at the industry that has been spun off from mankind’s obsession with beauty. Films, TV, fashion, beauty, cosmetic, fitness and the health industry, not to mention the whole chain that promote the concept of beauty spilling into your beauty pageants, beauty magazines and other media vehicles, reality shows, ..phew. The list is endless.

When you assimilate all these and try putting a finger to where it all originated from, it seems very simple yet queer that all originated from our inherent curiosity to know how we look…the desire to know how other people see us.

So in the running list of all great things mankind has discovered, the discovery of ‘reflection’ and the subsequent invention of the mirror should definitely be given a re ‘look’...atleast in the top 10 inventions that has changed, as they say, 'the face' of the human race.

ENDertainment

2008-01-18T18:18:00.000+04:00

Was part of a very enlightening discussion with an acclaimed Hindi film director who had come to office. What he spoke about, in the course of an hour was disturbing. It was not anything new but a reality that … “cinema today is often dictated by rules of the marketplace. People want to see what they aspire for… Images those are not disturbing…but pleasant.”

What he said is very close to the dictionary meaning which provides the following meaning: “Something that amuses, pleases, or diverts, especially a performance or show.”

My definition is somewhat different. Otherwise how could so many ridiculous movies become chart-toppers?

Many visit a cinema hall expecting something more. Some look for meaningful cinema, some look for sex, some look for humour, thrill, SFX and many more. Genres and niches get created on the way.

In India though, we would not be happy with just one of these. So since the least common factor would demand a mix of these, what you get is a hotchpotch of all these. One that we term as “Masala movies”.

One hypothesis for the masala mix could be that in India, the realities that we live with are often stark and you live with an unpleasant taste everyday. So movies are seen as an escape route…as long as it is amusing and causes at least a temporary disruption from these unpleasant realities that surround everyday life. Since the scale of unpleasantness of these sights is slightly high in India, movies also are equally bizarre and long enough to give that relief.

Some movies which strike a chord and that I can relate to, always seem to tank at the box office because they didn’t provide the masala. They are classified as “art-movies”, “parallalel movies”or “multiplex movies”. These are seemingly movies that are appreciated only by ‘educated’ class of people who stay in slightly better environs. They can also leave out a song or two…and would not mind a shorter film too (films from developed countries if you recount are shorter).

But this formula will not work for the masses. They need masala, right.

So despite having a good mix of a plot that engages, acting and direction, what determines its success is the ability of the cast to shed clothes (which you or me will never wear anyways), look good, run, fight and dance. If this mix is cracked, then other aspects for success fall in place like distribution (pan India and International), quality of theatres where it is released, hype and promotions.

Did someone mention acting, quality of script or direction? No. These are not for the masses. Remember, the definition does not say these.

To put it entirely on the film industry will be wrong.

Cinema’s are a direct reflection of the society that we live in. The better our quality of life and intellectual capabilities better will be the entertainment that we seek.

At times our fragmented society places great limitations in appreciating good cinema. This is true for regional films. Despite having some path-breaking movies from Maharashtra, Kerala, Tamil Nadu or West Bengal they never get their due at the national level. The irony here is that while we lament the failure of the Western jury to understand Hindi films (called ‘Indian Cinema’) we truly fail to recognize gems from our own land.

The ones that will prove successful (interpreted as maximum people viewing it) will be determined by a function of money spent on good looking stars who shed expensive but strange looking costumes, say things that I would never say to anyone, run, sing and dance at the same time and some exaggerated pauses in between.

A quick glance through the IBOS site shows that the majority of the top grossing Hindi Movies of all time are backed by acclaimed actors, directors and production houses. Which means that those movies which go all out (spending money) are the ones who get maximum eyeballs. And the most striking fact is there are only 11 movies in the top 100 (after adjusting for inflation) that were released in the last 10 years (1997 – 2007). (there are some really good ones in the list...but very very few.)

I am sure this will probably keep coming down as years pass on. Mainly because movie entertainment is dictated by this masala mix and the need to generate business rather than for the intrinsic quality of cinema…which I go for. And which I am told, the masses don’t.

Reality in real

2008-01-18T14:14:00.000+04:00

Would we behave differently on reality TV?

If you are on TV, will you share the real you? Or will you portray someone that you wish to be.

(Which I believe is what we always try and do in everyday life.)

Would you want to see real people do real stuff on TV (classified as boring) or do you want them to do something interesting or exciting on TV.

Reality TV needs to be defined as people play acting real roles. And we are genetically peek-a-boo inclined. We are a very curious species. (one excuse given for a century of inventions and discoveries). But what we get is a show which is marketed as real. It is not really real.

The audience expectations need to change. It is just another show.

2008 is just another statistic

2008-01-05T13:24:00.000+04:00

I am sure, I may not be only one who feel this way.
My cynicism levels touch a new high every time the calendar gets replaced.
All I know this ought to be the biggest marketing event of a year. If “New year” is a product I am sure it will hit the charts as the most marketed and most successful advertising campaign ever. It seems to get bigger and intimidating with each passing year. It’s got a buy in across socio-economic and cultural, religious or geo-political boundaries.
The PR, below the line and the property itself is beyond any monetary valuations.
It should also be the most merchandised event ever. Organisations spend huge amounts of money to come out with new ways to usher in the “new year”. The sheer variety in the way each year is celebrated should make any brand manager proud.

Among the many things I like about the “new year” is that it presents a round up of events. If you are not a regular newspaper reader, the 1 week run-up to the “new year” gives you everything that you need. Who made the most money, who lost the most…who was right, who was wrong, who won, who lost , what happened and what didn’t happen and many more…and each one is entitled to his or her opinion.
So here I thought I will also publish my own round up of events and people.

People preceding the hype (the real doers)
Nitesh Kumar (Chief Minister, Bihar – for doing many things right without chasing the limelight)
Aamir Khan (Re-inventing commercial Hindi cinema)
Prasoon Joshi (The adman who is chasing all what he wants to do, the publicity included)
Sachin Tendulkar (repeatedly making a lot of people admire his resilience and for daring to look beyond mediocrity)
Al Gore (for telling us that there’s life after being an ex-to be president of US. Jokes apart, for telling us that we live amidst a lot of inconvenient truths)

Hype preceding people (the credit stealers)
Laloo Prasad Yadav (Ex CM, Bihar, Current Cabinet Minister – Railways) – there are too many reasons
Salman Khan
Mahendra Singh Dhoni

Why am I even mentioning his name?
George W Bush

Good omen
A social unrest…for supporting some good things.

I ended this list intentionally here.
There are actually too many things.
Will think of publishing them in several editions later.
Actually I am too lazy and suddenly realized that there is a lot of research I ought to do. Rather, let me try and dig into the last weeks newspapers and report…

Ciao

in-dependence

2007-08-17T19:41:00.000+04:00

The media deluge on Independence Day was cacophony at its best.
There were wishes of India-Pakistan being one, of poll promises and developmental views, about flag hoists, Ottavio Quattrochi finding freedom and people debating how India upholds its democratic traditions and Pakistan does not…and so on.
After the din has died down and realization dawns that the next day is a working day, everyone goes to sleep and go about doing what they want to do.
I do not know how many view the Independence as another holiday but refuse to accept it.
For the media it is about getting content that has ‘jingoism’ written around it in bold.
Well to sum up its’ not just about celebrating nationhood and hoisting the national flag on 15th August.
It is about ensuring that it remains aflutter rest of the year.

Dev-elopement

2007-06-29T10:47:00.000+04:00

So the monsoons have arrived in Mumbai. On the outset, I do not think that the civic infrastructure has improved to tackle the monsoons, atleast not yet.
Roads are still dug up, trains were slow even for the pre-monsoon showers.
Mithi river, the arterial dumping ground, sewerage, mangrove nourisher et al is still not cleared…and so on and so forth.
Mumbai presents a rather apocalyptic picture of what unplanned development can do.
Development has been a poll promise since independence. From 1947 to today, civic infrastructure has not kept pace with the aspirations of the citizens.
From the municipal elections, corporate elections, legislative and parliament elections to the presidential elections, there is just this mirage that we try and paint. And my theory is this is a political conspiracy.
If we are given what we want…how will they come back to power again?
The promise of a better tomorrow is the only thing that drives the poor to the poll booths. And time after time, they have obliged. And will keep obliging as long as they revel in dreams and not live in reality.
The upper crust of the employed or the well-to-do, who have access to high school and professional education, own telephone, mobile, electricity, transport, a home and earn more than they spend accounts for only 3% to 5% of the population. The optimist might even take it upto 10%, but is still abysmal.
So where are we?
We complain when the western world interpretation of an “Indian life” is still tainted by poverty and the snake charmers, but we still are an enigma to most of them.
Not because of our cultural diversity and questionably rich tradition. It is because they are yet to unravel the mystery of how 90 mn people still continue to see hope despite the reality. Live in abysmally poor conditions. Fight caste wars. Judge people by who they are born to and still believe that all these will change when the next government comes to power. Long live the Indian politician. For constantly keeping away development from us.

Obesity is profitable

2007-06-27T12:10:00.000+04:00

I read an article in WSJ about companies turning to fat as a renewable energy source.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118273516729246648-search.html?KEYWORDS=Companies+turn+to+fat+as+renewable+energy+source&COLLECTION=wsjie/6month
For the time being, companies in the US like Syntroleum Corp. are converting chicken fat, taco and pizza grease into liquid fuel that will power anything from cars to jets.
But, I am sure there will be a time when human fat will be proven superior to any other fat. We are a superior race, right?
Just look at the possibilities.

With governments and countries chasing the alternate fuel dream, there is a lot at stake for people with excess flab. The spin-off could be huge.
Imagine the direct co-relation of slimming clinics to help tide our fuel crises.
Governments will urge us to grow fat and contribute to the economy.
And this makes great news for a lot of naturally endowed people. I guess it makes great business sense too. Slimming down will truly have a financial side to it.

Imagine, the USP of gyms will completely change. They will help you grow fat...rather than cut it. How will they advertise? "Gain 50% fat in 1 week. Or money back!" or it could be "Gain more. Earn more"

And there will be another temptation "...we will also help you get the best returns for your fat!"

In lesser developed countries, people will be reared to produce fat…With the kind of racist, and casteist society, they will even have promotions saying “100% white fat”.
Finance companies can extend you credit on the basis of your fat worthiness.
If you have a hereditary obesity problem, man, your first million is already in sight!
Your financial planning will depend on how much fat you can ‘cultivate’ in a year. There will be…wow - a ‘fat tax’. And ‘fat profit’ will have a completely new meaning!

And you will have file tax returns for the ‘fat’ profits that you make.

All things sinful and indulgent will suddenly become mass scale and popular. People will then start eating, drinking and making money…and yes then merry making.
Restaurants and super markets will then start even advertising..."full of fat hormones!"

Beauty will then truly contribute to the economy. People will never look the same. They will alternate between looking fat or slim...And it will upturn our belief of fat people being prosperous. It will be the lean ones who will be prosperous. Coz they would have just about encashed their fat or have no reason to 'grow' fat.

And let’s all welcome back the hamburgers, cheese, french fries, the samosa’s and all things fatty.
“Earn while you eat”…quite a crappy proposition, right?

The advertising whirl

2007-04-16T15:38:00.000+04:00

So here goes my first crappy contribution to the ‘whirl’ of advertising and marketing.

When you think back at any given day, the no. of products that you have used is no less than maybe 1000. This is my count. Experts put it at 3000.

From getting up to your Rado alarm clock (ok whatever alarm clock) to your Nokia phone on which you double check the time and see whether somebody tried disturbing you while you were asleep.

On your trudge to the bathroom to take your first pee of the day, you push down your Jockey boxers. Later you’d use a Dettol handwash to do away with the accidental pee drops on your hand and also think that your Nivea facewash might pull you up from the slumber.

You open the door and pull in the Hindusthan Times…the heading stares at you…”INDIA OUT OF WORLD CUP”…

You think “poor Pepsi…”..and therefore Coke.

You open the newspaper and there is a deluge of notice ads, appointment ads, classifieds, stupid ads, offer ads, all fighting for attention…

I am sure you’d cover atleast 100 – 200 symbols of products in that 1 hour itself…

After your morning dose of advertising, on your travel to office you are blasted into the ad 'whirl' where every street corner, tree, road divider, park benches and even morning joggers are adorned with brands. How many do you think you would have been exposed to? Another 100-200?

If you are in the habit of checking mails and reading up some news on the net…there you go…another 200 odd.

Man…how do you remember these things when you go into purchasing something?

Movies such as the “Truman Show” and the French “Mr.Average” tried to showcase some interesting aspects of this…In :Minority report”, it showed us how we can’t do away with it even in 2054…

That moronic truth that our choices are dictated by advertising is a bit hard to digest. But I think I am smarter in choosing to be a contributer…he he. For others, just enjoy the stay.

Rationally Irrational

2007-03-29T13:24:00.000+04:00

So the hot season has set in. It is very usual to hear people say… "bahut garmi hai…hai na". (isn’t it very hot?).

People do this realty checks very frequently even to strangers. At the suburban railway station, you could see a commuter after wiping swaet away from his brows and neck with his hanky and smile at with one of his ‘realty checks’.

It’s not just about this season.

You could find it during rains, during winter, at a traffic jam…during whatever.

I dunno why people do it…but it is very hilarious when people do it…because the only response you can give is to agree with him most of the times…if not always.

Options I could think of are … “is it..? I don’t think so” or telling him back “ya it is…so?”

I have found another expression of these realty checks…usually it happens when women / girls meet children…meaning say below 3 years…Almost all of them say… “chee nooo..its chooo cute”

I haven’t heard many people say especially when they see a kid for the first time “what an ugly kid you have man”.

I know it sounds rude…that’s why we don’t say it.

With this, I have concluded that inherently we humans have a very polite streak.

And we are tolerant most of the times…

We know that some questions don’t have answers. Or atleast that we are not expected to answer some of them.

Our reactions are simple when it comes to very simple facts about life…the truths. Why do we complicate things?

It just happens

2007-01-24T14:16:00.000+04:00

You are reading this article. That is coincidence.

No. This one is not crappy…

There is this small theory about life that I have assimilated after a lot of introspection over the past, maybe 5-6 years.

I do not know whether I can lay claim to this because I have sometimes seen similarities in what others feel about life.

So here goes, I call it the THEORY OF CO-INCIDENCE.

To start with, let me present some situations for you…

Think of the person who you met last. Or better, one who you spoke to last…

Just think back and try to gather when you met him / her for the first time. (to be effective don’t think of your parents or siblings…at least not yet)

Could you think back a few minutes before that, and then start constructing a ‘what-if’ situation if in case you haven’t met him/her.

If you are going around with someone, can you think of a situation wherein you haven’t met him/her?

Can you think of a situation where you missed the train that you actually got into? Imagine the possibilities…

Start seeing the world from above, and peer at the earthlings moving helter-skelter, chasing something, looking for something, or thinking what to do next…

What if you plucked some one and then placed him in some other part of the earth…Imagine the experiences he/ she would have gone through…

We live in this maze with a lot of possibilities arising out of each step that we take…the pace at which we walk or engage another can give rise to situations.

Say, you were supposed to catch the 9:20 am local train. Instead your arrived early and caught the 9:10 local. Then you met Uma. She was your class mate in school. She talked about her marriage, and that happened to be your friend from college. There…you do a high five calling it co-incidence.

Now what if you would have actually got into the 9:20 local. You would have probably met a sweet looking girl who asked you the way to a supermarket. You tell her that even you are also headed that way and volunteers to escort her…then as you are about to cross the road, a car slams her and she is injured…that takes you to the hospital….and so on and so forth… the possibilities are huge.

Every moment that we live in this world is borne out of a huge list such equations falling into place.

Your birth itself…of that one sperm among millions…it is co-incidence dear!

I believe there is nothing unfortunate…everything happens around possibilities.

You probably will get a sense of it only if you were to rest.

Despite doing nothing wrong, some bad things happen to people. That is because of co-incidence. Somewhere, some one was responsible for this.

We live in a mutually inclusive world. Our actions, no matter big or small has a bearing on something else. You can explain everything with the help of this maze that I call co-incidence.
So next time you need to act, think…

And be thankful for every moment you are alive.

And for everything else… "it just happens".

Racism rules

2007-01-24T11:21:00.000+04:00

So are we racist or not?

Finally I had to bow down to the debate. Despite my best efforts I can’t help being a ‘me-too’.

The raging debate over are ‘others’ more racist? Thanks to Shilpa Shetty, Big Brother and of course the media. I think it is really a question of the mind.

I am sure all us feel racism…in office for the “not-so-georgraphically” inclined, I’m a Madrasi.

At the entrance of a plush hotel, I am scorned at because of my dressing. Hindus abuse Muslims and vice versa…all of us swear at each other at the slightest instigation. (Fair skin vs colored skin debate has given rise to a multi crore industry)

So, I think the question is on expressing this racism.

My theory is similar to yours. We abuse, reprimand, fight, swear, kill, shout etc. as an act of defiance…an expression of anguish or frustration at being shaken from a comfort zone. An even simpler cause could be someone questioning our thoughts, beliefs etc. All these make us do things that we don’t want to do.

And we do things thinking that doing this will help us regain the comfort zone… “maybe with this I will express my displeasure…and the other person will understand.” Not for a moment realizing that this expression will be the stimuli for the other person. And then it gets on from there. Becomes like a chain reaction.

The world would have certainly been a better place, if we really thought before we spoke. These racist slurs will happen as long as we seek power. As long as we just react.

Bimbettes do that, jack asses do that and for the media it is just another few column centimeters.

But it is not that we are really concerned about it. Because we all know that it is a reality. World has not become that pure for us to stop abusing.

Sporting 'tails'

2006-11-30T14:29:00.000+04:00

Couldn't believe that the media is devoting so much column centimeters and airtime to comment on Sanjay Dutt's Bombay blast trial verdicts.
I don’t want to spend time again to speak about it. But was that worth a 'national importance' certificate? Or was it the media's fetish with celebrity reporting?
Another burning national issue is the performance of the Indian Cricket team and Sourav Ganguly’s come back.

Obscene amount of columns are dedicated to it. The only sports news that the news channels think worthy of reporting are views of retired/thrown out cricketers on how to improve the present state of affairs.

Without realizing of course that if they had practiced what they preach now, probably things would have been better…if not now, atleast then!

We Indian’s are terrible sportsmen. I think history would prove it. There might be glimpses of triumphs, but altogether we are mediocre, if not below-average in sports.

Our national interest in cricket is virtue of us being one of 10 countries who play the sport. Meanwhile the interest in our national sport – hockey is way down the interest spectrum because too many countries are playing it and we never seem to be making the mark.

Yes, the issue of administration foul play is there, the Viren Rasquinha being just the recent one, to bite the dust.

Recently a colleague happened to mention the name of one Sharath Kamal.

He works as an employee with IOC. The only difference between him and other employees of IOC is that he is also the India No.1 in table tennis for the past 4 years. Sharath has been a success story and somewhat unique because despite he earning the stripes for India in the Common Wealth Games (2 golds in the 2004 edition), being an Arjuna Award recipient and representing India at the Olympics he still doesn’t have any sponsors. And this is because not many know about him, whereas the first boundary hit by a debutant goes with the price tag to major sports sponsors. Performing well and consistently at the International level requires a lot of investments especially in training.

Yes. IOC is his employer and they pay him money, but if that was enough we would have Sachin Tendulkar working with Bank of Maharasthra and Rahul Dravid with My sore Cements (or whatever). It might be my ignorance about “Table Tennis” as a sport, but I could still debate Sharad’s popularity among the other “sports lovers” in the country.

And this is ironical because, Table Tennis as a recreational sport has got immense following in this country.

I still find the media chasing rich-men’s sports like Formula 1 and doing reports on how Narain Karthikeyan and Karan Chandok are not doing anything and then golf-which has become the flavour of the season.

How is it that the media finds interest in these big-buck sports?

Is it by virtue of the PR employed by the sponsors of these big-bucks sports or is that the sports journalists are too lazy to find out and report these?

I am not recommending that they start writing full page reports on our national progress on Kabbadi and Kho-kho but I find it a strange irony that media finds only those sports with big bucks behind it as sports worth writing about.

There is an abject lack of any sporting icons in our country. When we fail to recognize the few sparks that emerge, we again push our collective conscience to mediocrity. How long do we wait?

Passage to "Bloody India"

2006-11-21T11:26:00.000+04:00

By the second post, I fear I am donning the mantle of a media basher – ‘media watchdog’ as some would put.

Recently the Indian news channels and newspapers were bursting with reports of Brangelina’s “arrogant” security guards swearing at a motley crowd as “bloody Indians” at their shoot-location of “A Mighty heart”.

Now were the crowd at “Anjuman-i-Islam school” (the shoot location) unruly?

Yes. I would think so from my experience of have attended numerous functions and been witness to numerous occassions when a celebrity / s has made an appearance.

Leave alone the crowd, the media – especially the press photographers and the camera-men sometimes exhibit the most uncouth behaviour in their enthusiasm to get the best angles and expressions.

If some one behaves in an unacceptable manner, then you have a reason to get upset. How one shows this is very unpredictable. I wonder how anyone would think of a politically correct ‘expletive’ in such situations.

That the Brangelina visit should attract so much press coverage is so despicable. Why are we lowering our social intelligence and consciousness by giving so much significance to events that do not warrant attention?

Aren’t there issues galore that would require more public action than the visit of a Hollywood star?

Infact how many of the people who crowded there would have watched more than one film (‘One’ itself is an exaggeration) of Ms.Jolie?

I am not saying that ‘trivia’ should be done away with…But exciting the public and then making a news story of that in the garb of ‘sensational news’ is one thing the already “idea-starved’ media agencies can do without.

And when a star-starved and overexcited public overreacts at some Hollywood star, and elicits a “bloody Indian’ response, you know who is to be blamed.

The efforts of the fourth estate are wasted in such unwarranted and wasteful news reportage. Shouldn’t they be looking at reports that would mobilise the public for something more useful? Why is media aping the tabloids and paparazzis of the west? There are enough ‘bollywood columns’ and ‘star scape’ sections and dedicated journals for those who are waiting for a shot of these ‘star-rumbles’. Give them their dose of ‘Brangelina exploits and spare the poor Indian who just wants some real news and responsible news coverage in national news papers and news broadcasts.

Endnote: When it was already reported that there is a threat of disruption given the sensitive nature of the film which traces the life story of journalist Daniel Pearl (who was captured slayed by the Taliban), why was the security left to the largesse of Brangelina’s private security guards? Why wasn’t there adequate protection given by the local police-especially since they were shooting in a muslim school?

We the people

2006-11-08T16:17:00.000+04:00

It looks like my first blog is going to look like a cynical take on the world around us. Well that I made a start is what inspires me to go on. However the real inspiration to start this piece was a vernacular newspaper that I happened to glance through. (Mathrubhumi – a prominent Malayalam newspaper). I found most of the news despairing. I didn't understand this. Does it help to awaken us from our make-good world that "not everything is happening the way you think" / "not all are happy"? Or is it because we inherently classify ‘news’ as anything shocking or amusing.
What is news...well its just that. However what we get to read is news that is fleshed up, shaken and stirred and sprinkled with the editors own plane of thought and applied reason who feels that the news should arouse interest (a journalist might classify this as making it 'sensational').
This phenomena is not just limited to newspapers. In the prime time news in a popular English news channel in India, (CNN-IBN) 8 of the 10 news headlines was about murders, killings, fire, blasts, inflation and terrorism. I agree that that everyday, all news does not highlight ‘bad news’ as news highlights. (If anybody cares, they could keep an eye open for the nature of the news together with the content.)
Recently there was a huge morality debate on the rising ‘adult’ content in dailies. But where did the dailies get the idea? You guessed it…we the people.
We are inherently curious about sex. (That the news watching / news reading target group happen to be predominantly male does not help the cause). But why does the media arouse our interest with sad news or sex? It is 'just news' right. But “we the people” will not buy newspapers if they gave us just news, right? So here comes the next one “Commercial viability”.

I presume that all know that the cost per newspaper is more than what we pay for it.

The largest selling English newspaper of the country (Times of India) sells its columns for a fee. Which means that what we sometimes read is actually a sales pitch. That is how PR thrives.

Around the world newspapers and news channels go to great lengths to get eyeballs. Including a "News strip Show" (http://www.nakednews.com/?bid=3126)
Are there people to watch? Yes people would want to watch. That is why the channel is still running.
A couple of months back I happened to lose my hand baggage at the Mumbai airport at the security screening area. Though they have a Closed Circuit Camera installed at the security check area, on my follow up with the CISF personnel, I was told that the Security Camera at the Security-check bay was out of focus. I filed an FIR and once I was back I wrote and spoke to a few people in the media. Told them that this incident at the security screening area in the country’s most sensitive airport is a dangerous precedent and is equally baffling. This is particularly appalling when you realise that I got nods of acknowledgement and words of sympathy over my loss. However I found the cover story of another popular daily a month back which talked about a baggage loss at the New Delhi Airport where almost 4 lakhs worth jewellery and money was stolen.

How did the news appear now when another person had gone through the same hassle when this could have been published 3 months back and sensitised people to be on guard?
Here lies the answer…what I Iost was a bag costing a few hundred rupees, which contained a few thousand rupees and some knick-knacks.

What they reported was when somebody lost 4 lakhs worth of ornaments.Which is more sensational?
Well the icing on the cake is this lead article in the Mumbai Mirror on 31/10/06 which found that 9 baggage handlers at the Mumbai Airport were found to have criminal background.
(http://www.mumbaimirror.com/nmirror/search/mmsearch.asp?query=&sectid=1&articleid=
1031200600042110302006235320562&pubyear=2006&pubday=31&pubmth=10
The conspiracy in my case thus becomes very clear. The personnel at the security check would have turned the CC camera away and went about whacking money & valuables from unsuspecting passengers like me. But what happens when you try to tell the world about this? Nothing. Why? Because we the people prefer to read only sensational news! (to be continued)