Its raining crap

For some reason, I have always been a supporter of people who downplay their attractiveness, who despite their good looks are modest about it. It could stem out of an insecurity of not figuring in the top 100 of the ‘People’ magazine or it could be my angst against vanity. So much that I have been a great advocate of using un-model like faces in advertisements and films. But on careful introspection I have realized that mankind is almost maniacal in its desire to change everything around them into attractive elements. While almost all design improvements are about making functional products, there is a huge stress on it being aesthetic as well. That is about product designs. But the industry who has gained most from this predilection for looking good are the liquids, potions, lotions, soaps, gels, scrubs, masks and what not that adorn your wardrobe. Not to mention the clothing and fashion industry…and many more such ancillary industries who work towards ‘appreciating’ the beautifu...

Was part of a very enlightening discussion with an acclaimed Hindi film director who had come to office. What he spoke about, in the course of an hour was disturbing. It was not anything new but a reality that … “cinema today is often dictated by rules of the marketplace. People want to see what they aspire for… Images those are not disturbing…but pleasant.” What he said is very close to the dictionary meaning which provides the following meaning: “ Something that amuses, pleases, or diverts, especially a performance or show.” My definition is somewhat different. Otherwise how could so many ridiculous movies become chart-toppers? Many visit a cinema hall expecting something more. Some look for meaningful cinema, some look for sex, some look for humour, thrill, SFX and many more. Genres and niches get created on the way. In India though, we would not be happy with just one of these. So since the least common factor would demand a mix of these, what you get is a hotchpotch of a...

Would we behave differently on reality TV? If you are on TV, will you share the real you? Or will you portray someone that you wish to be. (Which I believe is what we always try and do in everyday life.) Would you want to see real people do real stuff on TV (classified as boring) or do you want them to do something interesting or exciting on TV. Reality TV needs to be defined as people play acting real roles. And we are genetically peek-a-boo inclined. We are a very curious species. (one excuse given for a century of inventions and discoveries). But what we get is a show which is marketed as real. It is not really real. The audience expectations need to change. It is just another show.

I am sure, I may not be only one who feel this way. My cynicism levels touch a new high every time the calendar gets replaced. All I know this ought to be the biggest marketing event of a year. If “New year” is a product I am sure it will hit the charts as the most marketed and most successful advertising campaign ever. It seems to get bigger and intimidating with each passing year. It’s got a buy in across socio-economic and cultural, religious or geo-political boundaries. The PR, below the line and the property itself is beyond any monetary valuations. It should also be the most merchandised event ever. Organisations spend huge amounts of money to come out with new ways to usher in the “new year”. The sheer variety in the way each year is celebrated should make any brand manager proud. Among the many things I like about the “new year” is that it presents a round up of events. If you are not a regular newspaper reader, the 1 week run-up to the “new year” gives you everything that you ...

The media deluge on Independence Day was cacophony at its best. There were wishes of India-Pakistan being one, of poll promises and developmental views, about flag hoists, Ottavio Quattrochi finding freedom and people debating how India upholds its democratic traditions and Pakistan does not…and so on. After the din has died down and realization dawns that the next day is a working day, everyone goes to sleep and go about doing what they want to do. I do not know how many view the Independence as another holiday but refuse to accept it. For the media it is about getting content that has ‘jingoism’ written around it in bold. Well to sum up its’ not just about celebrating nationhood and hoisting the national flag on 15th August. It is about ensuring that it remains aflutter rest of the year.

So the monsoons have arrived in Mumbai. On the outset, I do not think that the civic infrastructure has improved to tackle the monsoons, atleast not yet. Roads are still dug up, trains were slow even for the pre-monsoon showers. Mithi river, the arterial dumping ground, sewerage, mangrove nourisher et al is still not cleared…and so on and so forth. Mumbai presents a rather apocalyptic picture of what unplanned development can do. Development has been a poll promise since independence. From 1947 to today, civic infrastructure has not kept pace with the aspirations of the citizens. From the municipal elections, corporate elections, legislative and parliament elections to the presidential elections, there is just this mirage that we try and paint. And my theory is this is a political conspiracy. If we are given what we want…how will they come back to power again? The promise of a better tomorrow is the only thing that drives the poor to the poll booths. And time after time, they have obl...

I read an article in WSJ about companies turning to fat as a renewable energy source. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118273516729246648-search.html?KEYWORDS=Companies+turn+to+fat+as+renewable+energy+source&COLLECTION=wsjie/6month For the time being, companies in the US like Syntroleum Corp. are converting chicken fat, taco and pizza grease into liquid fuel that will power anything from cars to jets. But, I am sure there will be a time when human fat will be proven superior to any other fat. We are a superior race, right? Just look at the possibilities. With governments and countries chasing the alternate fuel dream, there is a lot at stake for people with excess flab. The spin-off could be huge. Imagine the direct co-relation of slimming clinics to help tide our fuel crises. Governments will urge us to grow fat and contribute to the economy. And this makes great news for a lot of naturally endowed people. I guess it makes great business sense too. Slimming down will truly have a f...

So here goes my first crappy contribution to the ‘whirl’ of advertising and marketing. When you think back at any given day, the no. of products that you have used is no less than maybe 1000. This is my count. Experts put it at 3000. From getting up to your Rado alarm clock (ok whatever alarm clock) to your Nokia phone on which you double check the time and see whether somebody tried disturbing you while you were asleep. On your trudge to the bathroom to take your first pee of the day, you push down your Jockey boxers. Later you’d use a Dettol handwash to do away with the accidental pee drops on your hand and also think that your Nivea facewash might pull you up from the slumber. You open the door and pull in the Hindusthan Times…the heading stares at you…”INDIA OUT OF WORLD CUP”… You think “poor Pepsi…”..and therefore Coke. You open the newspaper and there is a deluge of notice ads, appointment ads, classifieds, stupid ads, offer ads, all fighting for attention… I am sure you’d cover ...

So the hot season has set in. It is very usual to hear people say… "bahut garmi hai…hai na". (isn’t it very hot?). People do this realty checks very frequently even to strangers. At the suburban railway station, you could see a commuter after wiping swaet away from his brows and neck with his hanky and smile at with one of his ‘realty checks’. It’s not just about this season. You could find it during rains, during winter, at a traffic jam…during whatever. I dunno why people do it…but it is very hilarious when people do it…because the only response you can give is to agree with him most of the times…if not always. Options I could think of are … “is it..? I don’t think so” or telling him back “ya it is…so?” I have found another expression of these realty checks…usually it happens when women / girls meet children…meaning say below 3 years…Almost all of them say… “chee nooo..its chooo cute” I haven’t heard many people say especially when they see a kid for the f...

You are reading this article. That is coincidence. No. This one is not crappy… There is this small theory about life that I have assimilated after a lot of introspection over the past, maybe 5-6 years. I do not know whether I can lay claim to this because I have sometimes seen similarities in what others feel about life. So here goes, I call it the THEORY OF CO-INCIDENCE . To start with, let me present some situations for you… Think of the person who you met last. Or better, one who you spoke to last… Just think back and try to gather when you met him / her for the first time. (to be effective don’t think of your parents or siblings…at least not yet) Could you think back a few minutes before that, and then start constructing a ‘what-if’ situation if in case you haven’t met him/her. If you are going around with someone, can you think of a situation wherein you haven’t met him/her? Can you think of a situation where you missed the train that you actually got into? Ima...

So are we racist or not? Finally I had to bow down to the debate. Despite my best efforts I can’t help being a ‘me-too’. The raging debate over are ‘others’ more racist? Thanks to Shilpa Shetty, Big Brother and of course the media. I think it is really a question of the mind. I am sure all us feel racism…in office for the “not-so-georgraphically” inclined, I’m a Madrasi. At the entrance of a plush hotel, I am scorned at because of my dressing. Hindus abuse Muslims and vice versa…all of us swear at each other at the slightest instigation. (Fair skin vs colored skin debate has given rise to a multi crore industry) So, I think the question is on expressing this racism. My theory is similar to yours. We abuse, reprimand, fight, swear, kill, shout etc. as an act of defiance…an expression of anguish or frustration at being shaken from a comfort zone. An even simpler cause could be someone questioning our thoughts, beliefs etc. All these make us do things that we don’t want...

Couldn't believe that the media is devoting so much column centimeters and airtime to comment on Sanjay Dutt's Bombay blast trial verdicts. I don’t want to spend time again to speak about it. But was that worth a 'national importance' certificate? Or was it the media's fetish with celebrity reporting? Another burning national issue is the performance of the Indian Cricket team and Sourav Ganguly’s come back. Obscene amount of columns are dedicated to it. The only sports news that the news channels think worthy of reporting are views of retired/thrown out cricketers on how to improve the present state of affairs. Without realizing of course that if they had practiced what they preach now, probably things would have been better…if not now, atleast then! We Indian’s are terrible sportsmen. I think history would prove it. There might be glimpses of triumphs, but altogether we are mediocre, if not below-average in sports. Our national interest in cricket is virtu...

By the second post, I fear I am donning the mantle of a media basher – ‘media watchdog’ as some would put. Recently the Indian news channels and newspapers were bursting with reports of Brangelina’s “arrogant” security guards swearing at a motley crowd as “bloody Indians” at their shoot-location of “A Mighty heart”. Now were the crowd at “Anjuman-i-Islam school” (the shoot location) unruly? Yes. I would think so from my experience of have attended numerous functions and been witness to numerous occassions when a celebrity / s has made an appearance. Leave alone the crowd, the media – especially the press photographers and the camera-men sometimes exhibit the most uncouth behaviour in their enthusiasm to get the best angles and expressions. If some one behaves in an unacceptable manner, then you have a reason to get upset. How one shows this is very unpredictable. I wonder how anyone would think of a politically correct ‘expletive’ in such situations. That the Brangelina ...

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